Priorities and Objective Truth

I came to school late today, and one particularly zealous woman in the program asked me why I was late. I told her, "I took the morning off," and she responded, "I don't like what's happening. It's very important that you get the most out of this program, and that means coming on time. Especially when you're getting paid!" I agreed with her, and she walked away. A similar conversation happened with my teacher a couple of weeks ago, who'd noticed that I was coming late. He said to me, "it's very important that you come everyday, on time. This time is kodesh kodashim (the Holy of Holys) to me." I agreed to try harder to come on time, and parted from the meeting.
I understand that I have an obligation to be on time for a job that I'm being paid for. I don't think that that was actually the issue, in either of these conversations. I don't think so, anyway. If it were a matter of my stipend, there could be a threat of some kind to withhold the stipend, which, I would honestly feel fine with, since I probably don't deserve the money that's set aside for me.
But it wasn't about the money. It was about the way I spend my time. About my value system and priorities. It reminds me of the time that I was in eighth grade on my junior high school basketball team. My coach told us, "This team is your priority. No matter what, if you have your cousin's wedding, if you have doctor's appointment-- this team comes first. Unless your sick in the hospital, you should be here for practice." I heard this, as a 13 year old, and I thought, "oh no! I can't do that for a basketball team!" But then, I laughed to myself, thinking that it was a crazy standard to set for a basketball team. It occurred to me, at that stage in my life, that I would always have different people telling me that they knew on what I should focus my attention. My mom would tell me one thing, my dance teacher another, my friends another, and now the basketball coach. Fine. I need to make my own decisions. That's what I learned in 8th grade. But I find that grown adults, for some reason, still make the assumption, that if they tell me that my priority should be x, that I will accept whatever they say without questioning.
I sound like a brat, kvetching about people telling me what to do. But I am shouting out to people, everywhere: "You are not the only person in the universe! Your community isn't even the only one in the universe! Every single person you know will have a different set of values and priorities when making a decision! Get used to it."
The same goes when people can't understand how a person doesn't like chocolate or something. How is it that we can't understand that different people have different taste buds than we have? Or different interests and Career plans?
I suppose that I am writing this post is, in itself, a sign that I am also guilty of this kind of myopia. So let me just say that this is a part of our humanity that we should acknowledge. We have to balance values, and one needn't listen to the person who is the most emphatic when he says "This is REALLY important." You are the one who gets to decide that for yourself. And that's OK.
This is kind of reminding me of the song from the end of "Into the Woods," No one is Alone:
Cinderella:Mother cannot guide you. Now you're on your own. Only me beside you. Still, you're not alone. No one is alone. Truly. No one is alone. Sometimes people leave you. Halfway through the wood. Others may deceive you. You decide whats good. You decide alone. But no one is alone.
LRRH:I wish..
Cinderella:I know. Mother isn't here now
Baker:Wrong things, right things
Cinderella:Who knows what she'd say?
Baker:Who can say what's true?
Cinderella:Nothings quite so clear now.
Baker:Do things, fight things,
Cinderella:Feel you've lost your way?
Baker:You decide, but
Both:You are not alone
Cinderella:Believe me, No one is alone
Baker:No one is alone. Believe me.
Cinderella:Truly
Both:You move just a finger, Say the slightest word, Somethings bound to linger Be heard
Baker:No acts alone. Careful. No one is alone.
Both:People make mistakes.
Baker:Fathers,
Cinderella:Mothers,
Both:People make mistakes, Holding to their own, Thinking their alone.
Cinderella:Honor their mistakes
Cinderella: Everybody makes
Baker:Fight for their mistakes
Both:One another's terrible mistakes. Witches can be right, Giants can be good. You decide what's right you decide what's good
Cinderella: Just remember:
Baker:[Echo] Just remember:
Both:Someone is on your side
Jack, LRRH:OUR side
Baker, Cinderella:Our side--Someone else is not. While we're seeing our side
Jack, LRRH:Our side..
Baker, Cinderella:Our side--
All:Maybe we forgot: they are not alone. No one is alone.
Cinderella:Hard to see the light now.
Baker:Just don't let it go
Both:Things will come out right now.
We can make it so.
Someone is on your side-- [interrupted]
[Thanks to chittycbangb@attbi.com for lyrics]
Wow. What a comfort. If anyone reading this has not seen this play, she must go and see it. period. Have a great day.