What I'm thinking about this Yom Kippur

I'll be speaking at Teaneck's Carlebach community tomorrow. I'm posting here my notes/some of the things i'll be sharing.

Wishing everyone a wonderful yom kippur, and a gmar chatima tovah.

Intro to Torah Reading on Yom Hakippurim: Avodat Hayom

We are about to read from Acharei Mot, both in the morning reading as well as the Mincha reading today. The first verse mentions “אחרי מות”- this Torah portion, describing the Yom Kippur temple service, follows the death of Aharon’s sons, Nadav and Avihu. Strange that these rules are taught after their death, since they died around Pesach time, and the Yom Kippur service is 7 months later. What’s the relationship between the deaths of Nadav and Avihu and the Yom Kippur service? Furthermore, the end of the portion describes the arayot- the forbidden elicit sexual relations. What does that have to do with the Yom Kippur service? Let’s make sense out of today’s Torah readings.

The main theme of the reading is intimacy. The closeness that the sons of Aharon desired with God, to enter into the inner sanctum, is achievable with the divine. Entering the sanctum with incense is precisely what high priest does on Yom Hakippurim. Nadav and Avihu failed to survive the intimate experience when they lost themselves in the divine space. It appears that while intimacy with God, like with human beings is vital and wonderful, it needs to be tempered with boundaries. The theme of intimacy and the need for restrictions therein returns to us again this afternoon, when we read about the arayot- the elicit sexual relations that are forbidden.

Thinking about this Torah Portion in terms of intimacy, let us imagine the following mashal: a man, who deep down loves his wife, goes off to Las Vegas, the City of Sin, and he has an affair, and gambles away a bunch of money he and his wife had been saving. He finally comes home, but the doors is locked and bolted. He wants her to let him back in. So she needs him to tell her what happened. He solemnly reports his wrongdoings, and he cries, guilty and ashamed, as he tells her of these things. Finally, he leaves everything outside that he has done, and she lets him enter the house. Upon entering, he carefully watches every moves he makes. He does not take for granted his entry, and he understands that any misstep would be his final step.

Other times in the Bible where we have instances of repentance, we find tremendous passion and intimacy there as well. The reading on all other fast days, which includes G-d’s 13 attributes of mercy, is found in the context of the golden calf. We are privy in those verses in Exodus to incredibly intimate dialogue between Moshe and G-d. “17 And the LORD said unto Moses: 'I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken, for thou hast found grace in My sight, and I know thee by name.' 18 And he said: 'Show me, I pray Thee, Thy glory.” There, we might even to say the opposite was also true- the intimacy that the Jewish people achieved with the Divine at Mount Sinai needed to be tempered with limitations, and without proper leadership, it brought the people to idol worship.

You can also think of Cain after he struck Abel “גדול עוני מנשא”, or David after Nathan calls him out on his affair with Bathsheba (Psalms 51 לב טהור ברא לי אלקים...). Sin breeds repentance, which involves intimacy. When the relationship is called into question, we realize how much we value the other, and how we cannot take it for granted.

With this understanding of the Avodah, let us enter the Torah Reading, and we will return to these themes again during the Chazzan’s repetition of the Amidah.

Yizkor: Yom Hakippurim 2014

The Mishnayot in Avot that describe the relationship between this word and the next are instructive:

16. Rabbi Yaakov would say: This world is comparable to the antechamber before the World to Come. Prepare yourself in the antechamber, so that you may enter the banquet hall. 17. He would also say: A single moment of repentance and good deeds in this world is greater than all of the World to Come. And a single moment of bliss in the World to Come is greater than all of the present world.

ד,כא  [טז] רבי יעקוב אומר, העולם הזה דומה לפרוזדוד בפני העולם הבא; התקן עצמך בפרוזדוד, כדי שתיכנס לטרקלין. ד,כב  [יז] הוא היה אומר, יפה שעה אחת בתשובה ומעשים טובים בעולם הזה, כחיי העולם הבא; יפה שעה אחת של קורת רוח בעולם הבא, מכל חיי העולם הזה

This week, a beloved member of our community mourned the passing of her father. The loss a person feels upon losing a close relative is immeasurable, and it is the sort of thing a person never fully recovers from, but instead, learns to cope, and continue existing despite our loss. The custom of reciting Yizkor originated with this recital of Yizkor on Yom Kippur- Yom Hakkipurim- both the living and the dead get atonement on this day. It is through the recital of Yizkor that we see how much we are souls today. The living and the dead are all united in our spirits, and the separation of death does not divide us when it comes to the kaparah that accompanies this day.

We sing “Haneshama lach.”

 Teshuva Meahava: Repentance from Love

Yoma 86b

Resh Lakish said: Great is repentance, for because of it premeditated sins are accounted as errors, as it is said: Return, O Israel, unto the Lord, thy God,’ for thou hast stumbled in thy iniquity. (Hos. XIV, 2.) ‘Iniquity’ is premeditated, and yet he calls it ‘stumbling’ But that is not so! Resh Lakish said that repentance is so great that premeditated sins are accounted as though they were merits, as it is said: And when the wicked turneth from his wickedness, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall live thereby! (Ezek. XXXIII, 19) That is no contradiction: One refers to a case [of repentance] derived from love, the other to one due to fear.

אמר ריש לקיש גדולה תשובה שזדונות נעשות לו כשגגות שנאמר (הושע יד) שובה ישראל עד ה' אלהיך כי כשלת בעונך הא עון מזיד הוא וקא קרי ליה מכשול איני והאמר ריש לקיש גדולה תשובה שזדונות נעשות לו כזכיות שנאמר (יחזקאל לג) ובשוב רשע מרשעתו ועשה משפט וצדקה עליהם <חיה> [הוא] יחיה לא קשיא כאן מאהבה כאן מיראה

How could a sin become a mitzvah?

Opening the Tanya- Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz

Regarding the Teshuvah of King David, the book of Psalms has: “When Nathan the Prophet came to him as he had come to Bathsheba.” It does not say that Nathan came to rebuke him “on account of” (על אשר) his coming to Bathsheba but “as” (כאשר) he came to Bathsheba: true Teshuvah is when a person craves to return to God with the same intensity, with the same turmoil, as the craving he experienced at the time of his sin. The sin does not then become a mitzvah, but the Teshuvah redirects it to function as a mitzvah does, as an impetus of bringing a person closer to God.

What is Teshuva from Love?

Leviticus 19:18 Love your neighbor AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF! I am God.

Self-Love: Erich Fromm The Art of Loving,

“Selfishness and self-love, far from being identical, are actually opposites. The selfish person does not love himself too much, but too little; in fact he hates himself. This lack of fondness and care for himself, which is only one expression of his lack of productiveness, leaves him empty and frustrated. He is necessarily unhappy and anxiously concerned to snatch from life the satisfactions which he blocks himself from attaining. He seems to care too much for himself, but actually he only makes an unsuccessful attempt to cover up and compensated for his failure to care for his real self.[…] It is true that selfish persons are incapable of loving others, but they are not capable of loving themselves either.

אני ה' אלקיכם אמת- Rabbi Kalonymus Shapira, the Piaseczner Rebbe, says that we say this every day to remind ourselves that we are godly. That God resides within us, and that we are to act accordingly.

Hillel- Shabbat 31a “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn.”

                Commentators (Shabbos (31a)) say this includes Hashem, therefore.

Either way, we are also charged to love God.

Joy Krauthammer: Shlomo always made you feel good and special. Shlomo made you feel loved because Shlomo unconditionally loved each one of us, thousands of us in every city. It was Shekhina’s love that Shlomo brought down to us. Shlomo very deeply felt the pain that we suffered, the hurt, the lonely, the lost, the anguished, the alienated. Shlomo compassionately brought untold numbers of people out of their affliction to a healing place of light, love, faith and courage.

Neila:

I want to begin by thanking everyone here for providing a wonderful space where my family can pray and sing to the creator with truth and love. I also want to thank Jay for asking me to speak today. It has allowed me to meditate on themes of the day in a way that I would never have done otherwise.

Most of our lives are spent in chol, with mundane activities. Yom Kippur allows us a day at a spiritual spa. Dedicating this Shabbat day not to eating physical food, as we usually do, we have spent the day nurturing our spirits, and while the body is tired by now (I know mine is), the soul is dancing.

Taanit 26b

לא היו ימים טובים לישראל כחמשה עשר באב וכיוה"כ שבהן בנות ירושלים יוצאות בכלי לבן […]

Yom Kippur is supposed to be a joyful day- how often do we take personal days? Commercial for MasterCard for One More Day. 400,000 unused vacation days. The kids are all asking for one more day. Let us use this day to grow in our love for ourselves, for our neighbors, and for God, so that we can return to him with the passion that we all deserve.

 צאינה וראינה בנות ציון במלך שלמה בעטרה שעטרה לו אמו ביום חתונתו וביום שמחת לבו ביום חתונתו זה מתן תורה וביום שמחת לבו זה בנין בית המקדש שיבנה במהרה בימינו:

The mishna concludes with the joyous days of his wedding - that was the day of the giving of the Torah, and the day when his heart was joyous- that will be when the temple is rebuilt.

The giving of the Torah? That was on Shavuot! No, the second tablets came down today- on Yom Kippur. I saw on facebook that my friend and her husband got married, and I was confused. I thought they were married already! They were.The story is that they got divorced and then got remarried. Yom Kippur is our second chance that God gave us. He took us back, and wrote us another marriage contract.

We will conclude tonight’s service with the Shofar blast and with our declaration that we have not given up hope- that we believe next year, we will have our closeness with God restored, with a Temple where we can again fulfill the service of the day. This is a testament of our love for God.

From the movie Titanic, “Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me. It brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.”