Scholarship and Obedience

There is a very famous statement in the Talmud that claims there is no reason to study Torah except to enhance and increase a person's yirat shamayim (fear of Heaven). Fear of heaven is colloquially understood to be synonymous with observance of the halakha and obedience to Rabbinic law. There are, of course, other positions out there, most famously Rav Chaim's conception of "Torah Lishma"-- that is, Torah study for its (literally her) own sake-- that is, for the sake of studying Torah. The phrase "Torah Lishma" has been understood, however, by different people differently. Some of the more kabbalistically inclined have understood the feminine possessive form of "lishma" to refer to the Shechina, the Divine Spirit. I've read that the Zohar understands "her" to be Eve-- we study Torah for the sake of correcting her sin in the garden of Eden, when she ate from the Tree of knowledge of good and evil.

I wonder if this disagreement has anything to do with a larger question: What is the purpose of life? I have heard many people searching for a concrete answer to this question. I heard someone give a talk on Shavuot with that question as the title, where he answered the question by quoting a couple of verses from Deuteronomy that say, "Behold, what does G-d want from you except that you keep His commandments and fear Him?" There was a girl in my class in High school who displayed prominently on the back of her notebooks the Richard Leider quote, "The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose." Viktor Frakl writes in a similar vein that people have a psychological need to live for a reason. This is evidenced, Frankl argues, by the concentration-camp survivors who held on to an image of something waiting for them after the war. Without something to live for, these people would never have made it through, as they were practically walking skeletons already. The one thing that kept them going was some meaning that they brought to their lives.

The analogy is clear: When a person asks the question, "What is the purpose of learning Torah?" He can be on a search with a need for an absolute outcome. For instance: I need to fear G-d more by the end of this class, or I need to be inspired to be a better person by reading this text. Other people will read the same text with no expectations at all. Let the text speak for itself. Some people will open themselves up to being affected by the Torah, others will study in search of some other kind of truth. The study itself is a journey they embark upon. Why? Because, that's what they do. Maybe because that's what Jews do. But they do not attach a necessary outcome to their study, only the act of studying itself.

When I was in high school I was very taken by the question "What is the purpose of life?" I remember asking a classmate one day what she thought was the answer to this earth-shattering question. She said very simply, "I think every person has to find his or her own purpose. The answer is different for everyone." What wisdom. Thank you to my friend who told me this many years ago, because it stuck with me. I would like to offer my friend's answer today to answer the question at hand about studying Torah. Every person will have to answer the question for himself/herself. Why do I study Torah? What is my purpose that I'm trying to accomplish? What skills and strengths am I bringing to the table? What are my weaknesses? How can I compensate? What do I want to gain from this experience? If a person has answered this question honestly, she has a starting point. But the experience of learning, much like life itself, will more likely than not shift ones goals and attitudes along the way.

Happy Learning!